When Perfect Becomes the Enemy of Enough

"Perfection is not when there is no more to add, but no more to take away."
— Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

That quote stops me in my tracks every time I read it.

Because if I’m being honest, I’ve spent most of my life doing the opposite—adding more. More goals. More systems. More expectations. I’ve been chasing perfection not by simplifying, but by stacking. If I could just get the right combination of routines, habits, disciplines—then maybe I’d finally feel like I’m enough.

But that’s the trap of perfectionism. It doesn’t arrive with flashing lights and sirens. It sneaks in wearing the face of ambition and responsibility. It tells me I need to do more, be more, prove more. And the result? I take on too much. I drown in my own expectations.

And then, I fall.

All In or All Out

One of the hardest truths I’ve come to admit to myself is this: I don’t do moderation well.

When I commit to something, I go all in—whether it’s CrossFit, a new diet, learning AI, building Kinzoo, or showing up for my family. I pour myself into it. I want to do it right. But if something disrupts that rhythm, if I miss a step, I don’t stumble—I shut down.

Suddenly, it feels like I’m either on the path or completely off it. And when I fall off, the perfectionist voice kicks in: “You’ve failed. You’re back at zero. Why even try?”

This black-and-white thinking has haunted my health journey. I’ve lost 45 pounds through keto—because I followed it obsessively. But when I tried to ease off the rigidity, the voice came back: “If you’re not strict, you’re slipping.”

Same with learning. I’ve set AI study goals that would make a graduate student sweat. Why? Because “enough” didn’t feel safe. Only everything felt safe.

But now, I’m trying something radical: I’m building a system—not to chase perfection, but to escape it.

Replacing Perfection with Process

This new system isn’t about doing everything at once. It’s about creating structure I can return to when life knocks me off balance.

I’ve committed to two hours of focused AI learning a week. That’s it. No guilt, no extra hours stolen from sleep or family. Just consistency.

I’m learning to build meals that fit my life—not a diet book. Meals I can repeat, adjust, and enjoy. I’m prioritizing health, not punishment.

And most of all, I’m making peace with the middle. With showing up, even imperfectly. With skipping a workout or having a drink and not letting it spiral into a week of regret. Because that’s where the real battle is—not in getting it right, but in coming back after I don’t.

What I'm Practicing Now

This is where I’m at: letting go of the illusion that more is always better. Choosing sustainability over intensity. Learning that enough can be a form of excellence.

Perfectionism tells me I have to be everything, all at once.

But my system tells me: Just be here. Just do today. Come back tomorrow.

If you’re reading this and nodding along—maybe you’ve wrestled with the same “all in or nothing” mindset—then I hope you know you’re not alone. And maybe, just maybe, the way forward isn’t more pressure. It’s more permission.

Today, I give myself permission to show up, even imperfectly. I am building a life I can return to—not escape from.